impermanence and eternity

It was such a clear night that every star popped out of the sky...eternity blazing above me. When I lit the fire, the boxes flared up and choked out the visibility of the stars. Smoke clouded up into the black sky. I realized that thought and life circumstance is the fire of impermanence...and if you let it blaze too high it drowns out the star light of what is eternal within you. The thing about those stars though, is that they are always there just behind the clouds, smoke or flame. Remember that clarity and strength lies just beyond your fires.

(no subject)

Meditating deeply
Reach the depth of the source.
Branching streams cannot
Compare to this source!
Sitting alone in a great silence
Even though the heavens
Turn and the earth is upset,
You will not even wink.

- Nyogen Senzaki (1876-1958)

kind of an appropriate tarot reading I got

Wheel Of Fortune how you feel about yourself now (Wheel Of Fortune)

Perhaps you feel due for a bit of good luck or indeed are experiencing some at the moment. The Wheel of Fortune is a card of destiny. What is happening now we could call fate, so if positive things are happening with your love life, career or finances this is no coincidence. If no such things are happening, expect a sudden change in fortune.

The Hermit what you most want at this moment (The Hermit)

The cards suggest Amanda, that what you most want at this time is to know what to do, as well as companionship or a lover as you feel somewhat lonely or isolated at the moment. Perhaps you are feeling exhausted and in need of a rest - if you have been ill this is a time for rest and recuperation.

The High Priestess your fears (The High Priestess)

You are feeling uneasy and insecure, something in your gut is saying ‘be careful, all is not as it seems’ - something just doesn’t feel right. If so, delay any decisions or actions until you have answered your concerns. If male this could signify a significant woman in your life being a bad influence.

The Emperor what is going for you (The Emperor)

You are self-assured and more than capable of influencing people or events to achieve what you want. What’s more, support and guidance from your father, husband/partner or a man of significance in your life is there for the asking. Go for it!

The Sun what is going against you (The Sun)

You may experience a few delays on your quest for success and achievement but don’t worry, you’ll get there in a blaze of glory. Success may go to your head a little so a little modesty wouldn’t go amiss. Other than a few minor delays, look forward to a period of joy and happiness. If you are experiencing problems with conceiving a baby, The Sun often heralds good news around children and a much wanted pregnancy or birth of a longed-for baby.

The Tower outcome (The Tower)

A period of dramatic change and upheaval, however this period of change will herald a new beginning. It is time to re-evaluate - sometimes, as difficult as the disappointment has been to take, change can create new possibilities you never dreamed of. There could be problems relating to your property, or if considering a new property or move, progress will be thwarted.

(no subject)

An email I got this morning from of timely!

"Pluto turned retrograde last March and finally goes direct this September 7. Throughout the retrograde period you've likely found yourself letting go of beliefs that don't optimally serve you; now, you have the chance to put your revised approach to life into practice, as the 'great renewer' ushers in a phase of great enlightenment! It's the perfect time to brush off negative past life influences "

Most of the negativity was self generated too. It's strange to step back and see so clearly my own mental landscape.

Two good turns

I got the apartment I liked, dropping the security deposit off tomorrow morning and it will be available Oct 1st. If they get it ready earlier he will let me have a few free weeks in September.


My first paper got accepted for publication in the Journal of Medicinal Chemistry!!!!!!!!!!!! My insulin work is finally going public!

I'm a real chemist now!

(no subject)

Everything is making more sense, things are looking up and I see the purpose of it. Then I talk to her on the phone and get very sad for a few minutes.

(no subject)

In the quiet silent seconds I turned off the light switch
And I came down to meet you in the half light the moon left
While a cluster of night jars sang some songs out of tune
A mantle of bright light shone down from a room

Come down in time I still hear her say
So clear in my ear like it was today
Come down in time was the message she gave
Come down in time and I'll meet you half way

Well I don't know if I should have heard her as yet
But a true love like hers is a hard love to get
And I've walked most all the way and I ain't heard her call
And I'm getting to thinking if she's coming at all

Come down in time I still hear her say
So clear in my ear like it was today
Come down in time was the message she gave
Come down in time and I'll meet you half way

There are women and women and some hold you tight
While some leave you counting the stars in the night

- B. Taupin